See these tears running down my face?
They're real.
I just feel so overwhelmed right now. College is starting soon, and it's going to be an entirely new experience. People I don't know, and I'm out of the little bubble I've been surrounded in for my entire life. It's time for a taste of the real world - and to think that I used to pretend that I knew what that was. How naive we are in high school.
We're fighting. We're fighting and he hasn't called at all today, and it's already 9:19 on this clock and he hasn't called. I don't think he's going to call. I don't think he wants to call. I really don't think he ever reads this anyway. I could confess in here that I've been two-timing him, tell the whole online community, and he'd never know because he never reads this.
There's a messy room I have to clean. There's a car that I'm supposed to get. There's the breaking up of friendships because we're all going our separate ways and haven't realized it yet. I don't think I've fully comprehended what's ahead of me. I'm still in this pseudo-daze that life is going to continue the way it always has for the past four years, and you know what? It's not going to.
Sti's leaving on Saturday. Saturday. My best friend in the entire world is going to the boondocks, and for once, we're going to be separated. We haven't been separated in four years. It absolutely boggles my mind.
The only solace I have is that Meeny and Joe are still going to be here. There are just way too many thoughts to mull over right now.
I don't drink at all. AT ALL. None of my friends have. And now I'm going to be thrust into this enviornment where my friends very well might possibly drink. And smoke. And do drugs. And have sex on the beach. How freakin' naive am I. It's really starting to bother me.
I'm still a baby, and I'm 18.
