I'm still here...
Do you know when you love someone so much, that it hurts? It pains you to be away from them, to not be right next to them. I feel that way right now.
I really hate fighting with him. I hate it more than anything in the entire world. In the end, I always feel like the wrong one.
I tend to be really beligerant. I don't know when to stop. I just keep coming and coming and coming, and attack the other person verbally, and continue to do so. And it almost seems as if I'm blind to it when it's happening. All I can think of is putting that person down, proving that I'm right and that they're wrong.
I feel like such an awful person sometimes. I always get this sinking feeling in my stomach, and I think, my God, what have I done again? I can be so hateful. Sometimes I don't understand why people would even want to be around me.
Right now I feel like a used and dirty piece of Kleenex, just begging to be thrown out. It's just that I see so much potential in him. So much. I see so many opportunites for him. I see doors wide open, possibilities, endless. And it bothers me that most of those doors are now shut firmly, never to see the light of day. Others have been buried underneath doubt. I want him to amount to so much.
Someone once said that we take out the most of our anger on the ones we love the most.
That person was right.
